little man

lama dah tak blog...to be true...working with this company keeps me occupied..most of the time mmg aku bz...and most of the days in the week i have to go out to TM (owner office).But still im so happy with my new office...new environment...so far the people are just great...

i dont feel happy recently...my little boy has grown up and he reminds me a lot of things about him...i told him 'aku serahkan semuanya kepada takdir'...itu bukan tandanya aku menolak..its just that im afraid of trying...dan sudah tentu banyak hati yg terluka...even i still love him actually...biarla kali ni tuhan yang menentukan segala2nya...kalau dulu aku berusaha dan sanggup aku lukakan hati ibu aku sendiri..but not this time...kalaupun nasib tak menyebelahi aku...aku redha...masa akan menentukan segala2nya...

okla nak balik...thanks diary...i owe u so much today...at least im released...

its a very late entry...

2nd birthday bash

sorry for the late entry...since i'd joined my new company really i dont have time to journal in this blog...neway those pictures taken during my son 2nd bday bash...unfortunately i cant upload the picture as got a problem each i tried to load the picture...maybe i will try another time..well comeback to the story..he was such a happy boy and tak byk ragam that day...luv him to the bits...ibu will always pray for your happiness and a gud health of u...be a gud boy ok...dah besar nanti do take me for a walk...just the two of us..ok?

am i broken heart?

this morning wasn't a very gud morning to me...might be cos i found out the truth that i dont like to know...i found out that he has sumbody special in his life already...i am stupid all these while...i admit that i love him...just bcos i cant bear with the distance...i neglected him...leave him and started to be with sumone else...now i realise the truth is that...i could not give him happiness...happiness is about sacrifice..but i am too greedy for other things...i could not sacrifice anything for him...maybe all these while i did so many things to him...and now when he did it to me...it hurts...and now i know how it was to feel being left alone...

forget about the past...love is about sacrifice for the person we love...i am happy for you dear...hope dear god will grant you with a good life...heard sumone told me that good man is meant for a good girl...i believe those words...and it meant for u...really hope that she can take care of u...

ill remember our first met...it was 8 years ago...and i will always remember that...sob..sob..

weekenders

last weekend...was thinking to had a party with a few of my friends...hurm but then it was cancel due to darwisy asthmatic, well i don't mind at all when it comes to darwisy...ill do whatever it takes...neway on the saturday my family went to OU...brought darwisy to playland...one good thing about darwisy...when it comes to playland...suddenly he forgot that he is sicks that day...and i dont want to pampered him tho he is sicks...he has to get some activities to keep his mood ok not mellow hahaha...didnt snap any pictures that day...forgot to bring cameras...well on the sunday brought him to the specialist...and the doctors at the emergency dept advised me to take him to see his paedic..Dr. Nasir...had to take a leave before that...think if he's not getting any better before this friday...then only i will take him to see Dr Nasir this coming friday...he is sicks due to his asthmatic as usual...but then again i am worried about his condition...right now im in the office but my soul is at home...thinking about him...ya Allah sembuhkanla anak ku...sihatkan la tubuh badan nya seperti sedia kala...Amin...

Sisqo - Incomplete

Publish Post

baby boy has grown up...

it was quite funny last nite as my little boy did request to me that he wants to sleep in living hall on the sofa...seems that he's only 2 years old...worried he might fall from the sofa while sleeping...so i accompany my little boy slept on that sofa and the space just enough for both of us...hahhaha macam2...

astaghfirullahilazim...

entahlaa...i dont know why for certain people...they really like to see people down and being sad...sumtimes they like to create story which is not true...and its totally unfair to me as i keep on silent...but its ok...to me silence is always the best cure...biarla mereka nak megata apa...hanya tuhan yang tahu...dan aku tahu setiap apa yang mereka katakan pahala nya ada lah pada aku....so alhamdulillah...i never take things negatively like certain people did...for whatever reason things happened to me...aku redha dan aku tahu pasti ada hikmahnya...kalau aku teruskan pun...mampukah aku nak berada di pentas lakonan seperti yang dilakunkan yang lain...?? aku pun tak suke nak provoke2 people even i know people do me wrong...biarla tuhan yang mengadili atas apa yang mereka lakukan...sesungguhnya setiap kesabaran tu pasti ada kemudahan...

Ya ALLAH ya tuhanku...berilah aku kesabaran seperti kesabaran orang2 yang solehah...jadikanla hamba mu ini seorang yang sentiasa terbaik dari masa yang lepas.... AMIN..

freedom

Dear diary...

i wish i could turn back the time but i cant...
it is way beyond human control...
i wish that i didn't get myself to know him..
but its too late...things happened...
i wish that he understand why i treated him that way...
neway he's always try it more harder...
i wish that he's not being pushy...
please let me go...
i wish that i wouldn't end up living my life with him
that i wanted to be with my son...just the two of us...
i wish im not stupid
this i will pray to god to lead me the way...

broken hearted
cintahati kew...

2010

i guess this is my first entry for year 2010...well sorry that its been a long time i haven't update anything in this blog...i was quite bz with a lot of things...especially my new working place keeps me occupied with tones of work...well that's more i like it...rather than stay in my previous working place...felt so unproductive...there's not much to learn...i thank god that god always granted me a good life...syukur alhamdulillah...

yesterday was my precious 2nd bday..went out with nizam and darwisy...the least i could is being his friends..so that darwisy wont get frustrated..yela it wont be good kalau die tahu that his parents was not in good terms...time flies so fast...he's already 2 years old...he's such a smart boy eventhough he's quite that stubborn...same la cam ibu die hahhaa...im very much looking forward to see him after finish working everyday...

And lately ramai je yang bertandang untuk mengisi kekosongan hati ni...tapi tak tahu la takde spark...im trying...tapi hati ni belum terbuka to accept anyone sincerely...i think i just need someone to accompany me...its more to like i need a companion...i think i rather like to stay alone...

hahah dah jiwang pulak...tink till now...got to do some updates on work...

adios

lynn